Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
