Umm I'm too high to move.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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