I think scott just propositioned me for sex
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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