Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
You are the jesus of drinking
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I think my moral compass just broke
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
