to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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