I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
There r osticjed everywhere
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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