Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
