from now on my penis is your penis
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
