We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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