woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
