Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
