that's an acceptable place to lick
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
