We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize