Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
