So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
