fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
