I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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