I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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