awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
