Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
