He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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