I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
