hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
