Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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