Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
