shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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