The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
