lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
