somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize