its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
