my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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