I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
