That's when you crack a 10am beer
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
It's rum buckets o'clock
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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