Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Actions speak louder than pants.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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