Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
