You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize
