so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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