I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Randomize
