Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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