She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize