On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
