I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
