I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
