Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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