she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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