Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
