I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
