Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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