i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
