i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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