How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
