Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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