My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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