Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
