The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
