You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
