I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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