Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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