my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
