Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
