So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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