I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
That accounts for only three of the penises
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
